Getting Hit On By Jenifer Aniston (NBD)

When I finish work in the mornings I like to do the same couple of things to wind down before I go to bed. I’ll make myself some food, turn on a few episodes of a show, and when I’m done eating I’ll check my phone to see what I missed while I was working. I will typically find some snapchats and maybe a text that I’ll respond to. The rest of my notifications get cleared, and I don’t think about them ever again. Except this morning when I saw this email inviting me to RSVP to a google calendar event.

NOW… as you can imagine it has been much harder for me to get to bed. I never once in my life thought that I had a shot with the gorgeous Jennifer Aniston, let alone that she would just so casually email me. I’ve always been more of a Angelina guy, and seeing Jennifer’s poor email formatting only strengthens my opinion there. But hey, who the fuck am I to turn my nose up at an A-lister.

Sure, she is 51 and I’m 22…love is just a number guys. Besides, the real important number is the estimated $200 million that my new sugar momma is worth. I hope the fun she’s looking for is mini golf because 2020 has made it impossible to get out on the course.

Needless to say, I will be hitting yes on that event. It might be a little suspicious, but as the old adage goes…”If the Prince of Zimbabwe asks you for $500 you don’t say no.”